Quickies.....

Q. What do you do with a Fireman?


A. You put it out man!




Q. How does a butcher introduce his wife?



A. Meet Patti.

Those should be listed under the "Bar Jokes" section...

Gotta have a few beers before those get told!

OMG! Smaug.....

Doup!

One for the drinkers:

A polar bear walks into the bar and says.... "Can i get a Gin............. and Tonic"

The barman replies... "What's with the big paws?"

What!!! At least mine were funny!!!

ummm... none of the above jokes can be ranked as "funny"

Ok. How about a smile?

hahahaha...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,
'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'



The grasshopper looks surprised and says,
'You have a drink named Steve?'

Ok Ok let me try...
Here follows some Afrikaans sayings..
Ek sit nou so lekker ek
staan sommer op en sit weer.
Hy´s so skeel - hy kan deur ´n opgerolde tuinslang kyk.
Sy´t ´n hanggat soos ´n skouvark.
Hy´t ´n skerp gesig soos ´n resies-snoek.
Ek is nou so lus ek gee sommer ´n dubbelbed met 2 lakens 7
rekmerke.
´n Mens hoef nie soos ´n plank te lyk om gespyker te word nie.
As iemand jou laat eerste loop en sê: Age before beauty
dan antwoord jy ... kak val agter die koei.
Selfde kak ander bak.
Ek is nou so lus twee poesklappe sal ook doen.
Ek gan jou klap dat jy lus kry vir niks.
Skurwe hakke soos ´n vleipatat.
In die yskas sien ek nie ´n six-pack nie, net ´n emosionele
ondersteunersgroep.
Moet nooit ´n man met ´n bril slaan nie... moer hom met ´n
krieketkolf.
Ek is so bang vir ´n slang, ek kyk nie eens af as ek gaan pee
nie.
´n Gevolgtrekking is die punt waar jy moeg raak vir dink.
Moet nooit iets vandag doen wat iemand anders more kan doen nie.
Afrikaans vir 'Make love, not war'.
'Nai man, moenie baklei nie'.
Ek is nou so lus ek dek sommer ´n tafel.
Die mense wat dink hulle weet alles maak die van ons wat alles
weet die bliksem in!
Ek was so lelik toe ek gebore is, my ma moes my heeltemal in die
bad druk om te kyk watter gedeelte van my haal asem!
Ek is nou so lui my hol hang oop.
Ek is nou so lui ek trou sommer ´n pregnant vrou.
Om ´n arm pa te hê is jou lot, om ´n
arm skoonpa te hê is
onnoselgeit.
Vandag is die more waaroor jy gister bekommerd was!
Die lewe is soos breiwerk. Jy kom eers aan die einde agter
hoeveel steke het jy gemis!

How is being at singles bar different from being at a circus?
At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls.
He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."

Hou op!!!!!

HAHAHA

nice Will....